Now that class has begun, my mind has suddenly started to have purpose again.
As a Psychology major we have a lot of debates and discussions, one that stuck out to me particularly today was Determinism vs. Free Will. The paper we had to write about, was which side that we took, you could not fall in between. Then in class we talked about all the different view points and it had me thinking...
Determinism- The belief in universal causation. Implies that whatever happens is based on antecedents such that, given them, nothing else could happen.
Free Will- The assumption that human beings make choices that are to some degree independent of antecedent conditions.
I initially believed in free will reason being that was how I was taught in church growing up. That God made us so we could have the free will to do what we want so that we could choose if we want to love Him. The purpose was so God was loved genuinely, not forced. But then when we started talking in class I realized was there more to it then having "choices".
So lets not think of this subject religiously.
In class we discussed that (for the people who were for free will), determinism means that if your dad was a drunk and abusive, then that means you will be too. Therefore, people believed in free will because you have the choice to change who you are predetermined to be.
Then for the people who were for determinism stated that well you can't choose if you want to die, its going to happen regardless. Also was talked about that everything you do will lead up to your destiny, or who you're suppose to be. Some people who are born, don't decided to have a mental illness, its what they were born into because of the results of their parents (whether that's genetics, or if you believe bad things happened to bad people, which was also discussed).
It seems as if there was way more people who were far more on the determinism side. I personally noted to myself, that I do tend to say "if its meant to be, then it'll happen." So does that mean I think everything we do is already determined? Honestly I don't know, and if we didn't have this assignment I probably wouldn't of even thought about it. Just wanted to share some of the knowledge I learned today and maybe get your brain moving again as mine was.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Be the Change
I have been involved in many different leadership roles all throughout my life:
It had started in my home church, I started the Junior Ushers, how this started? My Godpapa has been the treasure for the church for many years, and I wanted to do what he and what I saw my Grandpa doing. I got involved, did I know at the age 8 I was going to set up a foundation in my church of all little people to become leaders? No, but when I set my heart out for something, I go for it. I also was a Children's Church teacher by the age of 16.
In school I always went for what I wanted, and I got it.
My first year in High School I learned about the Diversity Council, which was basically a group of us kids wanting our school to know about diversity and promote and show diversity. I was elected to be on that board at age 15. I was a teacher aid, and I was an office aid as well as I was apart of the Lunch Committee. All of these accomplishments that I was apart of was only to lead me into the position I wanted from day one, and that was to be a LinkCrew Member. LinkCrew was specifically designed to help the incoming sophomores and their new transition into high school. When I was first introduced to my LinkLeaders, I knew that one day I was going to be one. Not just anybody can become a LinkLeader, it is a rather simple process but you have to be dedicated. When I was nominated by one of my favorite teachers, that was just the beginning, I had to write why I wanted to be a LinkLeader and why it was so important to me. I then was chosen out of 400 students, only around 150 get picked. And for my Senior year I was able to leave an impact on my school and the individuals that I helped make their experience a little bit more exciting than fearing.
After graduation it didn't stop there, now in college I have been apart of the Black Student Union for the last two years, and I can say it has impacted me more than I can say in a short blog post. My first year apart of BSU I was just a member, and then the year following I ran for the Event Coordinator position on the board. I knew as a member that I wanted to help make a difference on my campus, I wanted to be apart of something that is bigger than me, bigger than campus, it is a lifestyle, it is how the world is. I love being around black educated students, my peers, because they enlighten me, they are my MSU family.
There is a lot of misconceptions about BSU, as well as any other group there will be. Sometimes, it is a downer to hear all the negativity about our organization, but then I realize, we have worked our asses off the last year, to try and do things differently and in a more positive way. In the fall we volunteered to play bingo with the older folks, which they really enjoyed having us, we plan to go again before the year is up. We fund raised, (even pitched in our extra money to help make funds more affordable) a lot to make sure that people that were really dedicated and showed passion for their future and BSU would take part of the National Black Student Union Conference held every year in November in Illinois. Our biggest month of the year is February (as I am glad it is over, though its the shortest month, it felt like the longest) I couldn't even begin to describe how stressed out everybody was to make sure each event that was held (basically every night leading up to the Pan African Conference) was a success. The Strength In Colors, which I coordinated with the President EJ of Voice and Vision, was a HUGE success, there was so many people that there wasn't even enough chairs, but people still stayed.
Many of us had early mornings, long days, and sleepless nights. These are just some of the many, many events that have occurred in the last year. The meaning to all that is this, our BSU is filled with the most loving, generous, caring, most dedicated people I have ever worked with. Is it always bliss? No, there has been many of disagreements, loss of members, and tears. But in the end of the day, the good out weights the bad.
Every week the board members comes together to talk about how we can make BSU better, we all have our own lives and busy schedules but we dedicate an hour of our time to bring everyone's ideas and concerns in motion. Then on Thursdays we come together with our members to present the ideas, and to get to know one another and educate each other.
Whats next?
We have elections, which I do plan to run again, and I am determined to obtain the position I will be running for. As my last year being on the board of the BSU I am going to make another yearly impact.
Following we are having our first Ebony Ball, which I am in lead of with my fellow board and general members. Leading up to the Ebony Ball there will be a Multi-Cultural week that the BSU specifically wanted to recognize other diverse RSO's on campus.
Be the change you want to see. I feel like so many people have their opinions & how things should be, but they are never the ones making things happen. If you don't like a law for example, you get a petition going and start a movement! Don't just sit on your ass & keep talking shit cause you might not know what people are already in the midst of changing themselves. This was me giving my background on how I love being a leader. Anyone can do it, I can name a handful of leaders that I am surrounded by daily. On top of that I salute all of my fellow leaders, because it is wayy easier to sit on your ass & not be the change then going out and becoming it. You think President Obama became the President by giving into the criticism and the negativity? No he didn't, open your eyes people, change is coming!
It had started in my home church, I started the Junior Ushers, how this started? My Godpapa has been the treasure for the church for many years, and I wanted to do what he and what I saw my Grandpa doing. I got involved, did I know at the age 8 I was going to set up a foundation in my church of all little people to become leaders? No, but when I set my heart out for something, I go for it. I also was a Children's Church teacher by the age of 16.
In school I always went for what I wanted, and I got it.
My first year in High School I learned about the Diversity Council, which was basically a group of us kids wanting our school to know about diversity and promote and show diversity. I was elected to be on that board at age 15. I was a teacher aid, and I was an office aid as well as I was apart of the Lunch Committee. All of these accomplishments that I was apart of was only to lead me into the position I wanted from day one, and that was to be a LinkCrew Member. LinkCrew was specifically designed to help the incoming sophomores and their new transition into high school. When I was first introduced to my LinkLeaders, I knew that one day I was going to be one. Not just anybody can become a LinkLeader, it is a rather simple process but you have to be dedicated. When I was nominated by one of my favorite teachers, that was just the beginning, I had to write why I wanted to be a LinkLeader and why it was so important to me. I then was chosen out of 400 students, only around 150 get picked. And for my Senior year I was able to leave an impact on my school and the individuals that I helped make their experience a little bit more exciting than fearing.
After graduation it didn't stop there, now in college I have been apart of the Black Student Union for the last two years, and I can say it has impacted me more than I can say in a short blog post. My first year apart of BSU I was just a member, and then the year following I ran for the Event Coordinator position on the board. I knew as a member that I wanted to help make a difference on my campus, I wanted to be apart of something that is bigger than me, bigger than campus, it is a lifestyle, it is how the world is. I love being around black educated students, my peers, because they enlighten me, they are my MSU family.
There is a lot of misconceptions about BSU, as well as any other group there will be. Sometimes, it is a downer to hear all the negativity about our organization, but then I realize, we have worked our asses off the last year, to try and do things differently and in a more positive way. In the fall we volunteered to play bingo with the older folks, which they really enjoyed having us, we plan to go again before the year is up. We fund raised, (even pitched in our extra money to help make funds more affordable) a lot to make sure that people that were really dedicated and showed passion for their future and BSU would take part of the National Black Student Union Conference held every year in November in Illinois. Our biggest month of the year is February (as I am glad it is over, though its the shortest month, it felt like the longest) I couldn't even begin to describe how stressed out everybody was to make sure each event that was held (basically every night leading up to the Pan African Conference) was a success. The Strength In Colors, which I coordinated with the President EJ of Voice and Vision, was a HUGE success, there was so many people that there wasn't even enough chairs, but people still stayed.
Many of us had early mornings, long days, and sleepless nights. These are just some of the many, many events that have occurred in the last year. The meaning to all that is this, our BSU is filled with the most loving, generous, caring, most dedicated people I have ever worked with. Is it always bliss? No, there has been many of disagreements, loss of members, and tears. But in the end of the day, the good out weights the bad.
Every week the board members comes together to talk about how we can make BSU better, we all have our own lives and busy schedules but we dedicate an hour of our time to bring everyone's ideas and concerns in motion. Then on Thursdays we come together with our members to present the ideas, and to get to know one another and educate each other.
Whats next?
We have elections, which I do plan to run again, and I am determined to obtain the position I will be running for. As my last year being on the board of the BSU I am going to make another yearly impact.
Following we are having our first Ebony Ball, which I am in lead of with my fellow board and general members. Leading up to the Ebony Ball there will be a Multi-Cultural week that the BSU specifically wanted to recognize other diverse RSO's on campus.
Be the change you want to see. I feel like so many people have their opinions & how things should be, but they are never the ones making things happen. If you don't like a law for example, you get a petition going and start a movement! Don't just sit on your ass & keep talking shit cause you might not know what people are already in the midst of changing themselves. This was me giving my background on how I love being a leader. Anyone can do it, I can name a handful of leaders that I am surrounded by daily. On top of that I salute all of my fellow leaders, because it is wayy easier to sit on your ass & not be the change then going out and becoming it. You think President Obama became the President by giving into the criticism and the negativity? No he didn't, open your eyes people, change is coming!
XO Sam
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Infatuation vs. Love
Many of us confuse Love for Infatuation.
Love: Noun
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Infatuation: Noun
foolish or all-absorbing passion or an instance of this: a mere infatuation that will not last.
The symptoms of both of these terms in the beginning are very similar, but end up deferring.
You get that warm fuzzy butterflies, heart racing, anticipation for that other person. You feel committed to them 110%, ride or die. You're so consumed with that person that your perception of reality has been altered. Now this doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It becomes bad when you're no longer think of yourself, and needs that, is when infatuation is occurring.
Infatuation is often related to when one person is participating in an one sided relationship. A loving and lasting relationship will consist of both people in the relationship, caring for each other equally.
I know that as young adults most of us have been infatuated at one time or another. As we are in our, what they call "sweet spot" years, between the ages of 18-25, we are most likely to be persuaded in any different direction than what we know.
The leading cause of divorce is young adults who get married at the age of 20-23. This is because, we are still trying to find out who we are, and who we will become. Many young adults are so consumed about being/having a significant other that they aren't trying to figure solely out themselves. Because this infatuation kept growing, and spiraling out of control, now two people are stuck together, who possibly have kids and struggle day to day to get by, and to find happiness. This infatuation is a high, the drug is the other person. You keep chasing that high, by trying and fighting to be with that person, no matter the cost. Resulting in you losing yourself.
Love is intensifying.
It is a bond between two people who genuinely respect each other, and wouldn't want harm to come from them or anyone, consciously or unconsciously. Love is when you have a disagreement, you're able to work it out with out questioning if that other person will be so angry that they will leave. Love is when you look at that other person, and they look at your back smiling because there is no where else either one of you would be. You're not chasing a high, because there is no high. Love is not a drug, it is antidote for both of the people in a relationship. Being in the mere presence of one another is enough to satisfy any other desires or lusts.
Now, if people were able to distinguish between love and infatuation, more people would be able to leave relationships that potentially could be bad for them. Also, these people would be able to love themselves first, and then know how to love a healthy way. When you know how to love a healthy way, you will also know how to be loved in a healthy way.
XO Sammie
Love: Noun
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Infatuation: Noun
foolish or all-absorbing passion or an instance of this: a mere infatuation that will not last.
The symptoms of both of these terms in the beginning are very similar, but end up deferring.
You get that warm fuzzy butterflies, heart racing, anticipation for that other person. You feel committed to them 110%, ride or die. You're so consumed with that person that your perception of reality has been altered. Now this doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It becomes bad when you're no longer think of yourself, and needs that, is when infatuation is occurring.
Infatuation is often related to when one person is participating in an one sided relationship. A loving and lasting relationship will consist of both people in the relationship, caring for each other equally.
I know that as young adults most of us have been infatuated at one time or another. As we are in our, what they call "sweet spot" years, between the ages of 18-25, we are most likely to be persuaded in any different direction than what we know.
The leading cause of divorce is young adults who get married at the age of 20-23. This is because, we are still trying to find out who we are, and who we will become. Many young adults are so consumed about being/having a significant other that they aren't trying to figure solely out themselves. Because this infatuation kept growing, and spiraling out of control, now two people are stuck together, who possibly have kids and struggle day to day to get by, and to find happiness. This infatuation is a high, the drug is the other person. You keep chasing that high, by trying and fighting to be with that person, no matter the cost. Resulting in you losing yourself.
Love is intensifying.
It is a bond between two people who genuinely respect each other, and wouldn't want harm to come from them or anyone, consciously or unconsciously. Love is when you have a disagreement, you're able to work it out with out questioning if that other person will be so angry that they will leave. Love is when you look at that other person, and they look at your back smiling because there is no where else either one of you would be. You're not chasing a high, because there is no high. Love is not a drug, it is antidote for both of the people in a relationship. Being in the mere presence of one another is enough to satisfy any other desires or lusts.
Now, if people were able to distinguish between love and infatuation, more people would be able to leave relationships that potentially could be bad for them. Also, these people would be able to love themselves first, and then know how to love a healthy way. When you know how to love a healthy way, you will also know how to be loved in a healthy way.
XO Sammie
Friday, February 14, 2014
Best Friends
Friends do truly come & go.
I've learned this the hard way, many times. You think somebody is your friend & you simply find out that they weren't. Friend is, to me, a precious word.
Friend: noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
A friend is someone who cares for you, wants your best interest. A friend is someone you can call in a time of need, or when you're "in your feelings" (a slang saying for feeling emotional). A friend is someone who doesn't talk negatively when you're not around. A friend who cheers you on through the fight.
Best Friends are all of the qualities above plus more. Best Friends are the ones who always have your back. Even when you're wrong they will agree with you, but later tell you what's up. Best Friends are the ones you talk to daily, they know your deepest fears & secrets. Best Friends know your family, they don't judge. They have your family members phone numbers. Best Friends are usually part of the struggle, they need to eat, you feed them. Need a girls night out, they'll cancel their plans with their boyfriend to be with you. Best Friends are the ones that when you get into an argument, no problem, yall hash it out right then & there, no grudges. Best Friends are still Best Friends through distance, haven't talked in a while? That's fine, yall will catch up in two minutes.
I've heard a lot of people say "I don't believe in a "best friend". I simply just cannot agree. I think people say this because, like I said before, friends come & go. I think that you can have multiple Best Friends, you can have Best Friends that are no longer your friend. In that time in your life, that person was there for you, you were there for them. At that moment in time that person meant a lot to you.
Now I don't like to use the term Best Friend loosely. But in the past year I gained a Best Friend & she's everything I've mentioned so far. 
I also have other Best Friends that I've grown up with, but who are distant. I know with out a doubt I can call anyone of them for anything & they will drop whatever they are doing to hear me & vice versa.
I hope to find me a man that will be my Best Friend, but in the mean time I have my girls!
Happy Valentines day yall ❤️!
XO Sammie
Monday, February 10, 2014
Lost & Found
I've recently learned a few things about myself.. It made me conscious of the fact that I am constantly growing. I tend to be really opinionated, I get it from my aunt & my mom. Up until a week or two ago I was really strung out on the fact that I don't pity anyone who has chose a different path than me and is unhappy. Now this sounds really stuck up & bitchy, but let me explain why I thought this way.
I didn't have the easiest up bringings, neither did a lot of my peers. But still I've maintained my goals and focused on what it is that I want in life. Now a lot of my peers that didn't strive to go to college as I did, have had the same opportunities as I, so I couldn't fathom why so many of the same peers weren't there for me, like I was for them, or why they didn't care, or even notice all the sacrifices I've had to make to be where I am. This made me angry, so I would say "Well you make your bed you lie in it." Now I still believe in that quote but I no longer say I don't have pity for anyone.
I often hear people say "Don't act like you don't have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé" well not all of us has the mentality as Beyoncé. Some of us don't have the mentors and the love to push us forward. Everyone has different battles that they have to face, and some aren't as strong as others to do so.
From day one I was told that I am loved by Christ. That's made such a huge impact on my life and has made a difference in the choices that I make.
I learned in church yesterday that once you find yourself through Him [Jesus] the devil can never bring you down. God made us in the image, the likeness of Him, once you can accept that you will never be lost. "Satan wants us to think we were born for the dirt, we were born for the Glory."
So I'm choosing not to have a bitter heart anymore. Instead of holding anger & resentment I'm going to fill that void with peace & love. Because how can I be true to God & myself if I'm not aware of my mistakes and trying to change them?
XO Sammie
Friday, February 7, 2014
Gods Timing is Perfect Timing
Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by negativity.
It can be really frustrating, especially since I tend to be a relatively positive person.
I feel like I do a lot in my day to day life, and God gives me the ability to still maintain my happiness.
Now it hasn't always been like this, I've battled depression and anxiety, but still I rise. My Grandma always told me "Samantha you leave your problems and hurts at the door, you don't carry them with you." That's exactly what I do. I keep myself busy, so I don't have time to sit around & mope about what I don't have and what I wish I had. For instance, recently I had to finally come to terms with being single.
I am beautiful, intelligent, witty, funny, sarcastic, I can cook, clean, basically a good woman, so why wouldn't anyone want me? That's what I was struggling with for so long. My aunt told me, "Samantha this [not having a man] should be the least of your worries. I am so excited for you because I know God has someone perfect for YOU. I am rejoicing, because I know he isn't going to give you anything but the best, Samantha you deserve the best." My aunt telling me this, and many other things, made me realize that she is right. Right now I am far too busy to even think about being in a relationship. Often times I would be sad because all my friends are coupled off, but I know that its simply not my time. "Gods timing is perfect timing" couldn't be anymore true for me. Yes, some days I'm going to fall & get sad, but that's apart of being human. I can only stay positive and tell myself that God has something great in store for me. I'm a daughter of the King, of course he does! "Even if there were 90 sheep in a pin, and I went lost, He would still come back for me." Thanks Grandma.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Flawless
So my current new favorite song is Flawless by Beyonce'.
What really stuck out to me though is this expert she put into her song,
What really stuck out to me though is this expert she put into her song,
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller
We say to girls: "You can have ambition, but not too much
You should aim to be successful, but not too successful
Otherwise, you will threaten the man"
Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important
Now, marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are
Feminist: a person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Now I am not a Feminist, by any means. If you read this, closely, it is a really good synopses of how our society looks upon women. I personally want to get married and be a stay at home mom, at least for the first year or two of my children. However, this lifestyle is not for everybody.
What does being successful mean to you?
Too many people, I believe, think being successful means having a lot of money. As a college student, when you're out in the community, you ask people what it is that they are aspiring to be. I get a lot of responses of people wanting to be in business, or marketing. I would then proceed to ask, is this what you want to do in life, be a business man/women? The reply "I want to be well off", "Its about they money". This actually saddens me, because I am going to love my career (I mean all the debt I'm in to be in college, I better love it).
Success means to me, building a family after I graduate, and get married. I believe this was put on my heart, to do in life. Yes I am more than excited for my career, but that is just a stepping stone for me to have a family.
Does this mean I am brain washed, by the American Dream? I think not. There are so many women that are striving to be "successful" that, at least, I am surrounded by, Lawyers, Psychologists, Veterinarians. Too many people want money (I think for the wrong reasons). Money is ideal though to survive but this is why I want it, to be able to support my family. I personally don't need to be rich or have fancy things, I know God will always take care of me.
Don't get me wrong, I will be successful. I will graduate with a BA in Psychology and minor in Social Work. I then will get my Masters in Counseling Psychology, after that I will achieve my PhD. I want to work in high schools, and have my own private practice working with the youth. I have educational dreams and goals. I will get married and have a big family and my children shall never be in want.
XO Sammie
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