What really stuck out to me though is this expert she put into her song,
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller
We say to girls: "You can have ambition, but not too much
You should aim to be successful, but not too successful
Otherwise, you will threaten the man"
Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important
Now, marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are
Feminist: a person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Now I am not a Feminist, by any means. If you read this, closely, it is a really good synopses of how our society looks upon women. I personally want to get married and be a stay at home mom, at least for the first year or two of my children. However, this lifestyle is not for everybody.
What does being successful mean to you?
Too many people, I believe, think being successful means having a lot of money. As a college student, when you're out in the community, you ask people what it is that they are aspiring to be. I get a lot of responses of people wanting to be in business, or marketing. I would then proceed to ask, is this what you want to do in life, be a business man/women? The reply "I want to be well off", "Its about they money". This actually saddens me, because I am going to love my career (I mean all the debt I'm in to be in college, I better love it).
Success means to me, building a family after I graduate, and get married. I believe this was put on my heart, to do in life. Yes I am more than excited for my career, but that is just a stepping stone for me to have a family.
Does this mean I am brain washed, by the American Dream? I think not. There are so many women that are striving to be "successful" that, at least, I am surrounded by, Lawyers, Psychologists, Veterinarians. Too many people want money (I think for the wrong reasons). Money is ideal though to survive but this is why I want it, to be able to support my family. I personally don't need to be rich or have fancy things, I know God will always take care of me.
Don't get me wrong, I will be successful. I will graduate with a BA in Psychology and minor in Social Work. I then will get my Masters in Counseling Psychology, after that I will achieve my PhD. I want to work in high schools, and have my own private practice working with the youth. I have educational dreams and goals. I will get married and have a big family and my children shall never be in want.
XO Sammie
